Editors note: This opinion-piece does not represent the opinion of Beaver’s Digest but rather it reflects the personal opinions and observations of the writer
“Wear high heels most of the time – they’re sexier! … Unless he happens to be shorter than you are!” says a 1958 article in McCall’s Magazine titled 129 ways to get a husband.
As someone who stands at 5’9” most men fall in the category of shorter than I am, and when I wear heels (unless it’s just for photos) I get the comment of “you’re intimidating”.
Women are being told they are intimidating, especially on a college campus, by men their age leaving them single, questioning themselves, and angry at men.
So, what is causing this epidemic; male insecurity, female domination, or something else?
Let’s talk about single rates.
According to the Pew Research Center about 3 in 10 adults (aged 18-65+) are single and half are not looking for anything more.
The crazy finding is that most adults looking includes those only looking for casual dates. Single rates are the highest they’ve ever been.
While we don’t know what the cause is, I took to the campus to find out how two individuals feel about singleness.
Justin Rademacher, a junior majoring in finance at Oregon State University is single, according to him he chooses to be single because of his busy schedule and wanting to grow as a person.
Audrey Biggerstaff, a junior majoring in chemistry at OSU is in a relationship and has been for the last two years. She enjoys being able to experience highs and lows with someone she feels safe and confident around.
To begin understanding why men call women intimidating, I first asked the two to explain what the word even means: Rademacher, gave his perspective on intimidation, “(intimidating means) Not super approachable, maybe you want to talk to them, but you don’t know how to break the ice”.
Biggerstaff said that, “the word intimidating describes someone who people are scared of, or feel challenged by.”
After speaking with the two about intimidation I asked if they’d ever called anyone else intimidating, both said no, but Biggerstaff gave a personal reason.
“I grew up being called intimidating, I knew the way it affected me and I didn’t want anyone to feel that way about themselves,” Biggerstaff.
Although Rademacher had never called anyone intimidating he stated that he had found girls intimidating, but it was mostly around resting bitch face (RBF).
He talked about how sometimes you feel like someone doesn’t want you around and you “don’t know how to break the ice.”
Upon doing research I came across the idea that maybe the reason men find women intimidating is being of their fragile egos and insecurity.
However, Biggerstaff talks about how males called her intimidating because they “don’t want to mess with her”.
Rademacher had an interesting take on this idea and said that girls are “starting to realize that they have a lot of power, and guys are realizing that too” (compared to the 1950’s).
Rademacher said it can be really hard to approach a girl when you feel it will be taken the wrong way, and you can’t use social media because then everyone will find out.
It is very hard to date in the 21st century where social media is an obstacle and I can read articles that may have no bearing or meaning at all.
After this conversation I came to my own conclusions: first, being intimidating is NOT a bad thing! If someone does find you intimidating to engage in conversation, find out why. Second, we are all chronic overthinkers…
