As February sneaks around the corner, and the first month of the new year has come and gone, it’s likely that many students’ New Year’s resolutions are a part of the 80% that don’t make it past the first month, as University of Richmond reports. But why is this statistic so high?
New Years has always irked me. A tradition where people list out everything they felt they failed last year, swear they are going to change it in a matter of weeks and then feel guilty when their overwhelming plans fall through. In a study conducted by Pew Research, every December 31st, 30% of Americans, 49% of which are between the ages of 19-29, participate in setting a New Year’s resolution. It’s an exhausting and unproductive cycle that myself and many of my peers fall into every winter.
In the less cheerful second half of winter, with no signs of relief until spring break, there’s a pressure to crack down on becoming a better person. Everywhere, whether through social media or in person, there’s an overarching urge to be better than before, giving the illusion that there was something not done good enough last time. Before a goal is even set, there is a feeling that something has failed, and the energy behind that goal turns into a correction, not an aspiration.
Most goals are set with the intention of them failing. With resolutions too difficult, failure is inevitable, but that failure ripples into future goal setting. This feeling of failure makes it difficult to set new goals, and results in a cycle of self-esteem and self-confidence issues.
If students keep waiting for a clock to strike midnight as if New Years is the only time they can set a goal, then they will never be able to grow throughout a year and appreciate their progress. It’s difficult to remember your progress after a month of finals and holidays, and oftentimes, those previous months’ work is left out of the picture.
However, by letting go of these social conformities and traditions surrounding New Years and choosing to periodically set healthy achievable goals, New Years will start to feel less about a daunting new beginning and more about celebrating a year well achieved.
The first step in achieving this is setting a personal goal. Shame based or social based goals will fall through because they are built on what society thinks should happen, not on what you want to happen. Large umbrella terms like going to the gym or eating better result in a general misunderstanding, as everyone has a different perception of these terms but are expecting to achieve the same results. By setting goals that have personal meaning, motivation becomes an easy task.
The Anxiety and Depression Association Of America recommends using the SMART goal method when setting resolutions. Start with something specific and small, whether it’s doing a workout two times a week or reading a chapter of a book every night. Then set a specific time frame that you wanted to get it finished in. If you want to set it for the whole year that’s perfectly fine, but there’s also no shame in setting it for a month. After a bit, make adjustments, there’s no need to stick to something that doesn’t align well anymore. People are always growing and changing, which means their goals should be growing and changing too.
Vivian Ngo and Amanda Nguyen, both first year biochemistry majors, said “We want to improve, but we don’t feel pressure too.” Their new year’s resolution was to work out 3 times a week this year, this is a specific and achievable goal. “We haven’t started yet, we are going too next week” Ngo said, despite not starting on day one, their intentions to follow through shows personal motivation.
Above all else, leave room for appreciation and self-compassion. It’s common to forget all the accomplishments that have been made when there’s a new huge one to achieve. It’s important to celebrate the small wins, to take breaks, and to flex goals as needed or to set new ones entirely. Resolutions do not need to follow any rules, as long as there is growth with positive intent.
There will always be an unrealistic expectation to change around the holidays, and the tradition of New Year’s resolutions will not be going away anytime soon. But it’s important to remember that if you are someone planning to set a goal in the future, you don’t have to change every single thing about yourself in one month, or even two. Completing something should not matter only because other people saw you complete it, it should matter because you care about the experiences and growth gained from it.
