Editors note: This opinion-piece does not represent the opinion of Beaver’s Digest but rather it reflects the personal opinions and observations of the writer

When my grandma was about my age — 20 — she was in college studying to become a teacher, one of the few career paths she saw as available to her. 

She was also going steady with my grandpa and was only a year away from marriage. Most of her friends were doing the same — getting hitched young and settling down.

My life looks pretty different. I study science, and aspire to attend grad school, build a career and create an independent life. I’m also single, not looking to mingle, and honestly? I plan to stay that way for the foreseeable future — maybe even for life.

I’m not alone. Marriage is no longer a “must-do” milestone for many young adults. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the median age for first marriage in 1960 was 22.8 for men and 20.3 for women. Today, those numbers are 30.1 and 28.2, respectively.

So why the delay in marriage? 

One major factor is education. The number of Americans earning bachelor’s degrees has nearly doubled since 1980. That’s shifted the timeline for traditional adult milestones like marriage and children. Add in cultural shifts — such as greater acceptance of sex outside marriage and a decline in dating with marriage as the goal — and you get a very different dating landscape.

The economy also plays a big role. Kelly D. Chandler, an associate professor in OSU’s School of Human Development and Family Sciences, says today’s economy makes single-income households far less feasible than they once were.

Additionally, Chandler noted that factors like income, demographics, and education levels impact marriage trends. Interestingly, those with higher incomes and more education actually get married more often and there’s been a “low-income retreat from marriage” in recent years.

Many individuals believe that the trend of young individuals delaying marriage until later is an undesirable development- and one that we should try to reverse. 

The late commentator and activist Charlie Kirk was one such proponent of marriage, repeatedly noting that marriage has been found to be correlated with increased happiness, once commenting that “You should get married as young as possible and have as many kids as possible. Period. You should reject the siren sounds of modernity.”

I’m unconvinced.

Kirk and other proponents of getting married young are not wrong: many studies do show that marriage is correlated with happiness.

But that’s not the whole story.

According to Chandler, studies show that people who are married tend to be healthier, do better economically and tend to report higher levels of happiness. Chandler noted that a lot of it comes down to having benefits like health insurance, dual-income and marital benefits, which can provide a safety net for people in marriages. 

But Chandler noted that while married individuals tend to be happier than couples who cohabitate and those who are single, it’s not necessarily the entire picture. 

She notes that being in a “marriage where you are fighting a lot can actually be worse for your health and if you have children for their well-being,” and that being single can provide individuals with freedom, independence and happiness with good social connections with others.

Chandler also emphasized that while marriage is correlated with happiness, a lot of finding happiness comes down to a person’s values.

“There’s been this shift from that breadwinner-homemaker model,” Chandler said. “Women can really pursue career options and be happy. But if you’re from a background or religion that values having children, and you don’t, then that might affect your happiness too.”

“And so maybe as a woman is able to achieve those educational and career goals, then it’s like, okay, now I can think about like, how do I incorporate family into this?”

So, will I personally be planning my life around data showing that marrying someone I haven’t met yet is associated with higher levels of happiness? 

No, and I’m grateful that I can build my own life my own way and on my own terms- a luxury women haven’t historically had and that many women worldwide still do not.

I am grateful to have choices. Women in our country are blessed with choices.  

We can still follow more traditional values and prioritize getting married and having children. There’s nothing wrong with that. 

We can also focus on our education, careers, financial independence and personal growth, and save marriage for later. 

We shouldn’t let trends and data regarding relationships and marriage dictate what advice we give young women. Instead, we should encourage them to build supportive, trusting, and healthy relationships and pursue their goals and values, wherever they may lie. So we women can work towards our own happy choose-your-own-adventure kind of life, our own ways.